nothing is a place

When one gets heavily immersed in thoughts of emptiness, nothingness, when one sees that all meaning structures are empty, that we must die, and that nothing means anything… There’s still one more step. What comes next is the realization that even seeing the truth for what it is means nothing, leads nowhere. This blow is the most crushing of all. It’s that final discovery that even knowing there’s no exit is not an exit. Maybe the psyche needs a sense of meaning to work properly. Contemplating emptiness is like throwing oil into some water. It can’t ever be digested by the human mind. It is hopeless.

There comes a time when you’ll know that you’ve finally gone to far. You’ll have crossed the line into a realm so terrifying and depressing that it no longer seems interesting or spiritually adventurous. You’ll have gone into a zone where there’s just death and doom, ultimate and real. It’s a place of fear. You’ll have gone beyond the end and you’ll have to return to the beginning, full circle.

From this point beyond the end of the line, The only thing left is to try to salvage your sanity and go back to sleep. You’ll beg to go back to the life you once knew when you were young, when you had not yet seen behind the curtain. But can you ever go back? Can you get back into Eden once you’ve transgressed in search of knowledge? No.

4/25/09